I have in front of me an empty page. An unwritten chapter, yet to be written. I can go almost any direction I want..
A week ago I closed down a chapter of a time of patient endurance. Endurance of miscommunication. Of expectations that were not being met. Of trying but failing. Of being humble by not knowing about the culture, not being able to express, not having my say ready. With a consequence of experiencing how it feels like to not fit in. Finding out that in a position of being unable to be the same, you will not keep up socially and therefore not either in school? Nobody will literally say this but hey.. sometimes you don´t need words..
One of the goals I once set for myself was getting a diploma. In these roller-coaster two years I have asked myself a thousand times, is this invisible battle worth the paper? What will this add to my life? Thinking about it again and again, I often would find out it was exactly not worth it at all. BUT, here comes the but.. no matter how messed up the situation, I could make a choice to hold my head up high and speak to this mountain in front of me. You can determine to finish that which you started.. in victory!
So now I have my diploma.. and can you image that my feelings are mixed up? It was important to prove (to myself actually) that I was able. I rejoice in the fact that I made it and that I have a unwritten future in of front me with possibilities. With nearest to me a lovely summer full of relaxing, photographing, enjoying, reflecting.. blogging ;)
A week ago I closed down a chapter of a time of patient endurance. Endurance of miscommunication. Of expectations that were not being met. Of trying but failing. Of being humble by not knowing about the culture, not being able to express, not having my say ready. With a consequence of experiencing how it feels like to not fit in. Finding out that in a position of being unable to be the same, you will not keep up socially and therefore not either in school? Nobody will literally say this but hey.. sometimes you don´t need words..
One of the goals I once set for myself was getting a diploma. In these roller-coaster two years I have asked myself a thousand times, is this invisible battle worth the paper? What will this add to my life? Thinking about it again and again, I often would find out it was exactly not worth it at all. BUT, here comes the but.. no matter how messed up the situation, I could make a choice to hold my head up high and speak to this mountain in front of me. You can determine to finish that which you started.. in victory!
So now I have my diploma.. and can you image that my feelings are mixed up? It was important to prove (to myself actually) that I was able. I rejoice in the fact that I made it and that I have a unwritten future in of front me with possibilities. With nearest to me a lovely summer full of relaxing, photographing, enjoying, reflecting.. blogging ;)
1 comment:
mooi geschreven an!
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